They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
