I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
