I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
