so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
