someone get that fucking seahorse.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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