first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
