I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
