Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
