I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My life is pants optional.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
