I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
