it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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