i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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