Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
