and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
