A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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