i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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