my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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