i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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