Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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