I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
