i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
