Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
