eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
