Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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