i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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