Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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