Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hippo gnu deer
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
