drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
