I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
