Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
