i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
