I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
