remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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