I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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