it wasn't lemon gatorade
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
