Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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