i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How external is "for external use only"?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
