am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
