Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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