New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
high people should be assigned attendants
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
