I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
only if we run a train.
done.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
