S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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