i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
