Is it because I queefed?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
