I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
