dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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