i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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