So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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