I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
