When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
