Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
