we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
