they need to just BURY HIM!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
