I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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